How my life started when I learnt to say NO

How my life started when I learnt to say NO

Kara** turns 34 this year, the year is 2012. She has a hectic life but when she sit down at the end of a day and recount my activities on a day, she finds nothing worth recalling. It’s filled with office work, work for others, running errands for others, helping others, and more of others but less of her in the equation. This was a startling revelation when she decided to analyze where her hours were going into. Then she realized that a bulk of the activities she does in a day is a complete waste of time. She doesn’t have time for herself except sleep time and that’s after she's exhausted all her energy running errands for other people. The neighbors dog to be fed, the kids to be fed when they can be trained to eat themselves, the additional printing to be done at work when the person himself can print and pick it up themselves. All the small things add up to the bigger picture, resulting in her loaded with a whole load of other people’s work.

A self analysis led her to realize that she is too obliging as a person and can never say never or no. In fact, in the past 6 months, she can count the number of times she has said no and countless times when she has obliged to help someone.

Helping someone in need is not the problem here. Being a doormat is. People in general needs to carry their own weight. While most of us are aware of this basic requirement in life, not many of us are willing to do that. As outsourcing is a buzz word these days, most menial duties are given away for others to do. And this is where people like Kara fit in the lives of the many that choose to outsource, in the name of friendship and relationship.

Unfortunately, the good people of this earth do not come into life with a manual on how to survive. Now here’s one for a start.

Firstly, learn to reward yourself and start saying no. That’s right. Say NO to the extra job at office that someone else can afford to do. Say NO to feeding the dogs when you have already made an appointment to see your massage therapist. Prioritize yourself over anything else unless the other matter at hand is about life or death.

Make plans to pamper yourself, make time for yourself everyday. Be it an hour or two. Even more time on weekends. It is extremely important to spend time with ourselves (sleeping doesn’t count) doing activities which matter most to us. This can be as simple as pursuing a hobby or an interest. Once you start to say NO to the unimportant things which come your way, you will see a lot more of yourself, become a better person and you’ll be able to help others better as well.

Start today and say NO!