Feb 2019

The masters I signed up for in Sept 2015 is still haunting me till this year. Yes it has been 4 years and I've reached maximum residency which means I have no choice but to complete the program this year or drop off. I was so tempted to drop off and run away from it all but unfortunately I didn't want to quit half way. so I decided to complete what I started. My game plan was nothing short of ambitions and optimism. I signed up for 3 modules at one go - all 3 were pending completion before my thesis. I wrote to the school for an extension of my thesis so I got that approved on the grounds of part-time student, mom, worker, and financial constraints. so I took Performance training and learning, Strategic HR Management and Research Methods in Organisation (all are 20 credit modules each). And with the modules came along classes and the dreaded assignments. So I had to complete a 4,000 word essay for PTL and SHRM + reflection on learning essays AND for RMO, I had to complete a workbook (with 8 questions and about 10 over sub questions and essays in it) using SPSS, and write 2 research writeup and 1 research critique. All these were due around the same time with about 1 week difference between each.
RMO was 25th of March, PTL 1st of April and SHRM 8th of March. as I was working full time during this time (at COTY), I lost my weekdays and only had weekday nights and weekends to work on the assignments. the killer of these papers were the many essays and journal articles I had to read to understand and obtain points before I can write them. and these had to be done at full focus, with no distraction. The only times I could do them was when the kids were in bed but by then I was equally exhausted myself body mind and soul so I would end up sleeping too. Truly I tell you, studying while having a family and while working is not for the faint hearted. The mounting stress as the deadlines were nearing was undescribable. It was horrible having to neglect the kids and I tried to leave them with my sister over one weekend, my mom over another and my hubby on another. I just had to keep passing them around just so I could have at least an hour or 2 of peace and quiet to write my assignments. I even took 5 days of leave to complete them but ended up working on office matters all those days due to payroll issues. It seemed as if the days would never end and I was working non stop and studying daily with the little whatever time I had left. Finally it came to submission day and I took a conscious decision to submit one of the papers late to manage my own stress. and it worked. The deduction is 5 marks for each day of delay and so I decided to live with the deduction and not push myself to the edge as it became almost impossible to complete the last 2 RMO papers. The deciding factor was either I submit on time a crappy paper or a proper orderly paper a few hours late and the latter won.
On the 8th of April, once I submitted the SHRM paper, my heart felt so light I could dance in the clouds. I was the happiest monster mom and I could finally "be present" at home, fully with the kids. We baked a cake that day. They had no clue what happened but they knew their mommy was back. So I was back to being me at home. Those who work and study part time are really made of steel. Especially those who have small kids, the world turns upside down and nothing stays the same anymore. I have made a conscious decision to not renew my 1 year long contract at work when September comes. The reason is obvious. I want to focus on my thesis and complete it. Work takes 199% of my time and effort and working part time won't make it. I will be pulled into the environment with the many things to be done. So now that I am more free at home, I have decided to pull out my projects and one of it still involves staring at the screen - to prepare VJ's self defence corporate training materials. The plants project is also carried out on the side. And Nadine, the 2 year old mischievous independent strong lady is becoming more like me each day - stubborn and curious! More time now to spend with the two

01 Jan 2019

The beginning and the end

The year is 2019. Nayden turns 5 in March this year and starts preschool on the 2nd of Jan 2019 for the first time in his life. So many changes in our lives this year and this marks a major milestone for all of us.
Firstly never in my dream did I imagine what school he will land in, and here he is, going to Kuen Cheng Kindergarten (noon session) and VJ and I take turns to send him to school in his first week of adjustment. What I anticipated to be wailing and crying turns out to be a myth, Nayden appears super calm and collected and quiet in his first day of school. I suppose all the pep talk is finally working? He follows the routine taught by his teachers and I hang around the classroom, amidst the other crying children, ready and on stand by mode to walk in to hug my baby boy in case he breaks down. I waited and waited but nothing happened. not a tear came out and soon it was already a week and he was successfully settled in! On day one he did miss his own classmates, unnoticed by the teacher, he walked in a different class line and marched into their class. watching from far, the protective me so wanted to run to him and correct him but I stopped myself. Let him learn I kept telling myself and so he did.

So there you go, the beginning of school which marks the end of his childhood time at home with Nadine and I :(