A visit to acupuncturist

So today was one of those days I counted my blessings for being able to be free and available at home to run my own schedule as I need to. And it was a day when I had to take my mom for a detailed check up on her head-ache which has been lingering about for awhile now. Just like the rest of us, she prefers not to go see any other doctors but her own so it took quite a bit of convincing to get her to come along with me today to see an old TCM practitioner at TungShin hospital. I managed to convince my sister as well since she was also facing some issues that needed to be treated. So the catch was to tell them - it's only RM30 for consultation and so it was! Well RM35 because it was our first time there but otherwise it's usually RM30 i heard. The doctor was very patient, thorough and holistic in his approach, allowed them patients to be able to speak and share, feel comfortable and I was won over by the hospitality as well. And not to mention the efficiency of their dispensary and the entire works. Total cost for everything we did today was within RM100 but the outcome is worth way more than that since both of them said they felt much better, now that cannot amount to any dollar value. Hopefully their issues will be treated over the next few days while they complete their tablet medicines. I would strongly recommend anyone to go visit this clinic and specifically this doctor for his services is indeed commendable. We were done in 1.5 hours and back home to rest and for me, to run my other errands. Which included running around from shop to shop seeking for mandarin oranges to fulfil a customer order I had which had to include 2 oranges in the bags. All in a days work, we managed to complete all pending deliveries (outsourced from 2 locations) and Friday is free for rest. Also today marked day 2 of being vegetarian, was super tempted to taste the pan mee i ordered for the kids but decided against it to keep with my goal to a 40 full days of being vegan.

Travels

So the year 2020 was supposed to be THE year I did my SOLO travel. If you knew me personally, you will also know that I LOVE to travel! Solo travelling is something I had not done for more than 10 years now. I am used to travelling for work alone but for leisure and to another part of the world, nope the last of such a trip I did was to Nuremberg to visit a good friend while I was working in Singapore. So yes, it is more than 10 years now. However, given the current circumstances, I don't foresee borders opening anytime soon. It is rather touching to learn that my good friend still based in Germany had been exploring ways to return to Malaysia to wade off the pandemic, just to get some sun! I would have loved to have her around as well if not for the additional ridiculous charges to be paid to the immigration to get in during this time. So my advise to anyone who misses travelling, miss their spouse or other halves, please get yourselves distracted. Don't kid yourself with timelines anymore or wait for government releases on borders opening or travel bans lifted. This pandemic has no timeline to it, no end at the moment. Some predict it mid year, end year but honestly only GOD knows! So the best way to manage our mental health during this time is to be realistic and stop keeping up false hopes. When it opens, it opens aite. Even then you will be risking everything to travel out. Hence find a distraction. Pick up a new hobby if you need to, join a new group of common interests, online classes, heck start an exercise club if you need to. Dump your anxiety and energy into something that will result in a better outcome for yourself. Get selfish, invest in your own health and wellbeing. If you have not been eating well, start doing so. Miss the gym? Start running around your neighborhood. Miss your spa sessions? DIY a mask for yourself. Or buy a korean one from Shoppee. A simple pick me up mask is cucumber, aloe and honey. Especially on a hot weather as we have in Malaysia, it works great to rejuvenate our skin. So as for me, I have decided to not look forward to travelling for awhile now. But I am keeping a travel list of my own which mostly has Indochina and other parts of Asia in it for the shortest term. I honestly miss the Angkor Wat more than the Eiffel Tower. Kebabs more than croissant and the sun more than snow so Asia it is for me for now until the world comes to a stable point. Also, since i have technically covered quite a huge chunk of Asia and a small part of EU, I will have a good few years during retirement to travel the countries I have missed. So that plan has to also kick in somewhere over the next 10 odd years (IF i am still around that is). Therefore, fret not, fight not, flee not. Stop on your tracks, smell the fresh air you have, the flowers and sand around you and enjoy it while you have it. It's not a cliche statement when they say - Live today as if there is no tomorrow! As the scriptures have also affirmed this, do not worry about tomorrow, let it worry for itself.

February 2021

So the pages of calendar has flipped so fast and we are already into the 2nd month of the year. Having just finished celebrating the Lunar New year, which also marks the first year anniversary since Covid was born, this year has been another locked-up and lonesome year for some, since the inter-state and cross border travels are still not allowed yet. As for me, I have had a rather busy past 2 weeks, rushing out CNY gift packs and honey orders. It was overwhelming, THANK GOD! As the sole source of income, I was grateful for every opportunity that came my way and I fulfilled it. Including taking over another new state to manage the sales and stockist there- Klang! Now what I started as a running list of new things I wanted to accomplish by end of this year must average out to a minimum of 3 items per month if i wanted to ensure I reached my target. I know some might say that's a tough goal to achieve but as I told myself, some of the "mini projects" were personal, not to be shouted about, and for some, it may even be a passe. So far we are in the midst of February and the few things I know I had done differently were 4. Got my other half & the kids a gift (couple mugs & a family puzzle), acknowledged Valentines day, ordered lunch, and just chilled the day away. It ended up with a disaster unfortunately but my main motivation of doing this was to practise selfless giving without acceptance and I managed to achieve just that. So that's item 4 ticked there! 5. I also missed out another item I ticked off in January - reached out to someone who was in need of something, grouped a few friends together to join in and successfully sourced and delivered the items to the children in need. I have not done this in more than 10 years and that was another major tick! 6. I've always wanted to donate hair to charity and I successfully cut Nadine's hair and kept it to be given to the cancer society once the travel restrictions are relaxed. 7. I have also started my compost bin project since Feb started and this time, will be taking this a notch further and checking with the local community on a common area setup to create this for the community garden project. 8. As LENT starts this Weds, I am also going to challenge myself to remain a vegetarian for 40 full days and not compromise or give in to my carnivorous side. I have also stopped drinking alcohol for the past 2 weeks, as I was on a continuous drunk session from December until mid January. This item is not a checklist YET! Will update again on the 28th of March. The journey of LENT is not just about abstaining from meat per se. In the world of today, it also means giving up something dear to us, something that cripples or numbs us, addictions of many forms, obsession, and the whole works. This is also part of our complete journey of understanding our existance on earth, they why and the what to do. It's also a good time to journey with Christ in the desert, the same way he did and coming out of it as a stronger, firmer rock than the rough form we started. And then we can truly shine like a diamond in the rough. Besides, what fun is there if we go through life being normal/ numb/ regular right? We need to question, challenge and most importantly understand things from many point of views. One persons journey is very different from another, and the first step to understanding one is to acknowledge this. Not everyone has the same shoe size of taste. I for one still prefer my flip flops for walking and heels for dancing! haha digression right there! There's still another 14 days to go before I can tick off another 1 or 2 items for the month, the race to out-do myself continues.

the B-I-G 4-0

So i turn 40 this year! OMG seriously 40 years since I came into existence! For some, it's not a big deal. But for me it SOOO IS! WEll, first of all, it's the year of pandemic. Officially started the year with so many Covid cases and the numbers keep rising, no thank you to the muppets running the administration today. So if we were Covid-free, I should have been in Amsterdam in March 2020! Like that's going to happen anymore? I chose 2020 instead of the year I turn 40 for the simple reason of wanting to do it during my 30-s. I did make a Europe tour but with the whole jingbang and this time I wanted to do a solo-trip and it didn't happen. Anyway, I ain't going to let that or anything else come in the way of my biggest tipping point year ever! So first off, I started the year job-less. My contract with Coty ended on the 31st of Dec 2020. Due to the pandemic, the headcount for HR was sacrificed like a lamb and so I was laid off. After 2 unsuccessful interviews and 2 unsuccessful assessment, I decided to stop looking for a job and that the right role will find me when the time is right. So I decided to dedicate the time I had to pursue my own interests, sort the kids out, clean my home and finish some of my passion projects. One MAJOR plan I've devised for myself is this - for the year i turn 40, I will be carrying out 40 different things I've always told myself I wanted to do but have not done it. AND the good news is, for a start, January has been extremely fruitful, here is why: My 40 passion projects have started off successfully so far with the following: 1) I enrolled myself into a Toastmasters club (been wanting to join one since year 2000! but never had the guts/ time to do so) 2) I started this mini-kill with kindness-motto for myself and been reaching out to people who crossed my paths in a different way, helping/ supporting them in one way or another AND that has given me a HUGE lesson in gratitude and fortitude *something i truly truly thought I always had but finally learnt! 3) Started to exercise to get back my pre-pregnancy weight. I have no weight loss goals but just want to finish what I started and started short 7-min exercises and v-logging my journey too. It's been like 2 weeks now and i'm already feeling like a million-dollar bill! :) There you go! These were done in January 2021 and we have 11 months to tick off another 37 items from my 40-yo-bucket-list. Some others I have planned out: - 101 cooking book for super busy asian mommies that don't cost a bomb or years of preparation - plants and their benefits / cook book (still figuring out how to marry the above point with this one) - start Soapxpress - a bespoke/custom made soap service for your customized soap needs for gifting - start to sell actively on Shoppee (not just to clear stock) AND MANY Many more to come! I cannot wait to start each of the items on the list and the only rule i have for myself is to complete what I've started! Can't be that hard can it?

9 January 2021

So it's 9 days post New Year today. Here are the current status updates: - I've officially completed my Masters in Organizational Psychology in Aug 2020. - I started working at a beauty giant company called Coty as of Sept 2018 on a yearly contract, got renewed thrice and finally ended on 31st Dec 2020. - 2 kids = Nayden 7yo and Nadine 4yo this year - VJ runs his own gym - I am officially jobless for 9 days - WE are in the 1st year anniversary of Covid19, it's a pandemic which started last year around this time from China, Wuhan - The entire world has changed in the past 1 year, trees started growing again, mountains more green, we started getting fresh breathe of air, families were either closer or grew apart due to differences. THe pandemic has made most parts of the world go into a state of lock down, with limited travel across state, cities, borders, countries and worldwide. Yet the entire world got closer and more connected via the internet. We are at a super advanced internet age and while most human and social values were starting to diminish, the pandemic took place. Everything started to make sense in a way, and not in another. From being very distant from one another, being locked in like zoo animals, everyone started too look within them for answers and parents began spending more time with children, which brought families closer together. More babies were made, more fights were created and families began to see differences and learn more about one another. Most interestingly in a unique way, we started to get closer to God as prayers were made accessible online, daily, hourly from all over the world. Our weekly masses were looked forward to as a family, at a time when papa VJ would be available to join along too. For Christmas mass, we were able to view mass from any part of the world yet we still watched our own church mass. For the first time in our lives we didn't attend mass in person or receive the body of Christ in the form of communion for more than 6 months. Perspectives were changed and mindsets shifted. Where corporate work is concerned, what used to be a taboo of is applied with no choice - the option of working from home. Some companies have started to implement work from home options by default, while some others stil gave this as an alternative option where applicable. MOST if not all companies were implementing some form of cost control, be it hiring freeze or retrenchment, downsizing or cutting office overhead costs. I, for one am one of those impacted by such actions, due to hiring freeze, my contract as local HR was not approved to be renewed so in my last weeks of work I was preparing handover to my Singapore support team, lead by the HR Director of SEA who will act as the business partner for Malaysia as well. Such is life, a decision I should have taken in Sept 2020 was eventually done in Dec 2020 by force. I am happier now, spending more time at home, sorting out things for the kids and our home life. I am able to do anything I want as I had the freedom of time. And I am excitedly looking forward to what the year has in store for all of us.

Feb 2019

The masters I signed up for in Sept 2015 is still haunting me till this year. Yes it has been 4 years and I've reached maximum residency which means I have no choice but to complete the program this year or drop off. I was so tempted to drop off and run away from it all but unfortunately I didn't want to quit half way. so I decided to complete what I started. My game plan was nothing short of ambitions and optimism. I signed up for 3 modules at one go - all 3 were pending completion before my thesis. I wrote to the school for an extension of my thesis so I got that approved on the grounds of part-time student, mom, worker, and financial constraints. so I took Performance training and learning, Strategic HR Management and Research Methods in Organisation (all are 20 credit modules each). And with the modules came along classes and the dreaded assignments. So I had to complete a 4,000 word essay for PTL and SHRM + reflection on learning essays AND for RMO, I had to complete a workbook (with 8 questions and about 10 over sub questions and essays in it) using SPSS, and write 2 research writeup and 1 research critique. All these were due around the same time with about 1 week difference between each.
RMO was 25th of March, PTL 1st of April and SHRM 8th of March. as I was working full time during this time (at COTY), I lost my weekdays and only had weekday nights and weekends to work on the assignments. the killer of these papers were the many essays and journal articles I had to read to understand and obtain points before I can write them. and these had to be done at full focus, with no distraction. The only times I could do them was when the kids were in bed but by then I was equally exhausted myself body mind and soul so I would end up sleeping too. Truly I tell you, studying while having a family and while working is not for the faint hearted. The mounting stress as the deadlines were nearing was undescribable. It was horrible having to neglect the kids and I tried to leave them with my sister over one weekend, my mom over another and my hubby on another. I just had to keep passing them around just so I could have at least an hour or 2 of peace and quiet to write my assignments. I even took 5 days of leave to complete them but ended up working on office matters all those days due to payroll issues. It seemed as if the days would never end and I was working non stop and studying daily with the little whatever time I had left. Finally it came to submission day and I took a conscious decision to submit one of the papers late to manage my own stress. and it worked. The deduction is 5 marks for each day of delay and so I decided to live with the deduction and not push myself to the edge as it became almost impossible to complete the last 2 RMO papers. The deciding factor was either I submit on time a crappy paper or a proper orderly paper a few hours late and the latter won.
On the 8th of April, once I submitted the SHRM paper, my heart felt so light I could dance in the clouds. I was the happiest monster mom and I could finally "be present" at home, fully with the kids. We baked a cake that day. They had no clue what happened but they knew their mommy was back. So I was back to being me at home. Those who work and study part time are really made of steel. Especially those who have small kids, the world turns upside down and nothing stays the same anymore. I have made a conscious decision to not renew my 1 year long contract at work when September comes. The reason is obvious. I want to focus on my thesis and complete it. Work takes 199% of my time and effort and working part time won't make it. I will be pulled into the environment with the many things to be done. So now that I am more free at home, I have decided to pull out my projects and one of it still involves staring at the screen - to prepare VJ's self defence corporate training materials. The plants project is also carried out on the side. And Nadine, the 2 year old mischievous independent strong lady is becoming more like me each day - stubborn and curious! More time now to spend with the two

01 Jan 2019

The beginning and the end

The year is 2019. Nayden turns 5 in March this year and starts preschool on the 2nd of Jan 2019 for the first time in his life. So many changes in our lives this year and this marks a major milestone for all of us.
Firstly never in my dream did I imagine what school he will land in, and here he is, going to Kuen Cheng Kindergarten (noon session) and VJ and I take turns to send him to school in his first week of adjustment. What I anticipated to be wailing and crying turns out to be a myth, Nayden appears super calm and collected and quiet in his first day of school. I suppose all the pep talk is finally working? He follows the routine taught by his teachers and I hang around the classroom, amidst the other crying children, ready and on stand by mode to walk in to hug my baby boy in case he breaks down. I waited and waited but nothing happened. not a tear came out and soon it was already a week and he was successfully settled in! On day one he did miss his own classmates, unnoticed by the teacher, he walked in a different class line and marched into their class. watching from far, the protective me so wanted to run to him and correct him but I stopped myself. Let him learn I kept telling myself and so he did.

So there you go, the beginning of school which marks the end of his childhood time at home with Nadine and I :(

Filial Piety

I was prompted to revisit this blog after a long period of silence.. Prompted by a recent heart to heart session i had with a pure soul. Hence, the subject of this post.

Have you ever wondered what happens when you get old? Do you notice some old people who are super grumpy, cranky and obviously angry with the world? Do you think they lived that way all their lives? Or did something happen along the way which changed their behaviour completely?

If you ever stop to have such a conversation with a soul older than you, please do ask how their childhood was. Perhaps they were married once, and their other half has left to meet his creator, leaving her behind to fend for 15 children single handedly. Did they laugh often growing up? Had enough to eat? How would she had supported them - unable to go out and work for fear of leaving the smaller ones behind, she would have stayed home to ensure there was enough to eat, that the children were safe and taken care of. Which means she would have never worked outside for a single day in her life. Not many people can be enterprising under very stressful or traumatic situation. Most people choose to either fight or take flight. In the case of the single mother who was forced to raise her 15 children all by herself, she chose to fight.

Fast forward that scenario to another 30 years ahead, with all the young ones now employed, married with children of their own. What leaves that single mother with? Having sacrificed all her life for the wellbeing of her children, does she go to the streets now? Or does she go out to look for a job after 50 over years of not having worked for the benefit of her offspring? Who will employ her to do what?

Her lifetime of carrying her babies has now caused her back ache and from hours of standing to do house work and running after her children, she now has leg pain in her joints. With old age, new friends starts to visit, Ms Arthritis peeps in to greet.

How does one give back to such a person? By dropping her off at a home where she can be with those with similar unfortunate situations? Leaving her to remain bedridden so that she can be of no trouble or on the way of your own life?

Again, if you would just fast forward the exact situation to another 30 years of your own life, put yourself into that same situation, how would you feel? If you think of yourself as a "better" person that that same woman discussed above, think again. Who are you to be the judge? The ultimate one sits above us who knows our very thoughts and our hearts, HE will decide. So think..

How #MH17 tragedy has changed lives

July 17th 2014 marks a black day in the history of aviation and particularly that of Malaysia Airlines (MAS) when their MH17 flight carrying 298 humans was shot down by terrorists in the Ukraine-Russia territorial war.

I was super sad when i heard the news confirmed over the late night news on that Friday, i was dumbfounded. It was a war of emotion for me as i didn't know what to say, where to start, who to blame, the list goes on. I recall arguing with Vj on the very fact that the plane shouldn't have even taken that route, why did the pilots still go? I was upset with the pilots at first thinking they made a mistake. Then, I was upset with the militants who shot down a civillian plane. How can they NOT possibly know that it's a civillian aircraft? Days following the incident, more and more facts were unveiled. As I listened and observed each piece of news, my emotions changed to that of acceptance. I resigned to the fact that this was part of GOD's grand plan.

The following months after this very incident, more and more disasters were taking place around the world, mainly in the middle east. The war declared by a muslim militant sect ISIS has ripened and there was inhumane disaster taking place in Gaza, Palestine.

The trails of incident has taught us many important lessons as to why we are put on earth. The way humans were butchered in the name of religious beliefs made us question all our moral education and values.

One important lesson these times are teaching me is family values and love. How short and uncertain life is and to never take anyone you hold dear for granted. The saying Live Like There is No Tomorrow can never hold more true than during this time.

I find myself close to tearing each time i read about the MH17 tragedy, the lives lost, the pain their families must be enduring and of course the many questions of life, the sweet and shortness of our breath always give me the goose bumps and the warm feelings of comfort, knowing how close and near families are to my heart.

#RIPMH17 #planecrash #life #musings #lovelife

Road rage in Malaysia

Malaysia was recently shocked when the video of a young lady showing #rage to an old man who accidentally knocked her car. In the video, the young lady nick named #Kiki literally brought out her car steering lock and started to smash the old man's car while walking about shouting and yelling at him for hitting her car. Unfortunately for her, someone took a video of her actions, posted it on FB and ta-da, she instantly became a #roadrage superstar, literally (the days following her action would justify this).

This incident has drawn the attention of the entire nation and some radio stations decided to ride on her "#accidental fame" for marketing by inviting her for interviews. So many questions of morality and humanity were raised from the incident. Common thread among most people was - seriously, why would you make a road bully famous? TO promote the action? So the story goes that she was slapped with a fine of RM5,000 and 240 hours of public service AND a private political group has decided to support her and started raising funds to help her pay the fund. Since this incident took place in a small state in Malaysia, that state has become more famous since.

Now, let me enlighten you with a small piece of FACT that might or might not shock you - Kiki is not the ONLY road bully driving wild on our roads. She was caught, as the saying goes - wrong time, wrong day. IF she wasn't caught on video, she'd have gone free, and justified her anger. Repeating the same when it happens again in the future. I have personally been a victim of road bully before. Let me share this story here.

So I was driving with a girl friend on a Friday, heading towards Ampang. Jalan Ampang is famous for it's traffic jam and merging roads from many small lorongs, left and right. So we took to the main road from one of these lorongs. And i overtook this other car driven by a young man, let's call him Mat. He was clearly unhappy that I "masuk" in front of his car so he started to drive super close to my car. It was a super hot Friday noon, cars were literally inching away as there was a traffic light ahead of us. So, Mat is already frustrated and suddenly this woman overtakes his car, goes ahead his car and now she is one car ahead of him. Even if he did move ahead, he still would not have reached his destination but that didn't matter because at that point of time, he was just focussed on being over taken by another car. So the saga to revenge begins. As the cars inch on, we move on to the next lane , Mat remains in his lane and he does a sudden sharp turn in front of my car. Thankfully my reaction is super fast as i break in time, just any second late and i'd have hit his car and he'll be able to come out and get me out of the car too.

So, anger builds up as Mat doesn't achieve his aim, whatever it may be - get me out of the car to scold/ to prove a point, whatever. So we move on, realising that he was looking for trouble, I started to devise an escape route. Since it was a two lane road and cars were slowly starting to move, we move in between cars and end up at least 5 cars ahead of him. Mat doesn't give up and he now gets out of his car, walks to my car and starts smashing at my window, shouting at me to come out. He was a big sized Mat & he was hitting my car window with all his might, his face and body actions showed it. No one stopped to ask or stop him and he continued hitting. My friend next to me was all shivers, and my phone was nowhere in sight. I did not show any signs of giving up, kept a straight face and stared back at him. (While wondering of the million what-if's that could happen if he manages to break my window after all). Finally friend located my phone on the car floor and passes it to me. I took it up and started to pretend taking his picture (Actually the battery was already dead). And after that, i just said police to him, showed my phone and started to dial the 3 digits (911! LOL. We had a good laugh after that because our SOS number is 999 not 911!).

When he noticed me doing this, he stopped and walked back to his car. Hurling bad angry words at me still. So, moving ahead, i quickly took another road and a few other roads, and ended up at the police station to report Mat. Unfortunately I did not capture his car plate number even! Anyway, i just submitted the report and went home, hoping not to bump into Mat again.

Incident 2 for me happened just yesterday while i was driving along Jalan Sultan Ismail. I was driving at about 100kmph and suddenly this cabbie was trying to turn in to my late, literally few seconds ahead of me. I just honked to alert cab uncle. If my honk could speak, it would have said this: "watch out uncle, i'm coming on too fast, don't cut now". Unfortunately since that technology isn't invented yet, uncle must have taken that honk to mean "move away" or "stop, idiot" or even a "hello" because he honked back. He continued to follow my car all the way till i reached my building, as I was turning in to enter the car park, he let out another loud honk and drove on. Seriously, that was almost 5 minutes from when I last honked at him and he kept that grudge all the way and let it out with a honk. Bet it made his day, for not allowing himself to be bullied (in his little mind).

So, there you go, these 2 are only small stories from our daily travels. There are sooo many cases out there where road bullies are free and getting their way. I think honks are taken as threat when used in Malaysia because it seems to trigger an anger wire in most drivers here. Another thought that came to my mind was that most people are very angry these days. Be it on the road, in malls, homes, offices, restaurants, everywhere. And the smallest event pulls off their trigger and there's an anger outburst!

People are moving too fast, failing to stop and breathe. But most importantly, they are running the rat wheel with fear that they might need to stop breathing as the oxygen is getting too expensive to be afforded. In that process, values arer compromised, life becomes mechanical. Sigh... The changing times is leading us to a dim, lifeless future. Perhaps robots are better off living on earth.

Working from Home

1. As I draw nearer to my due date, I have been researching extensively to address an important pressing question: #ChildCare - who will take care of our new born when he arrives when both of us are out for work? Some of the options we had at hand are as follows: 1. Take turns to baby sit. This would work well given that one of us holds a flexible job. Either one has to quit our full time work and consider part time employment/ home-based business/ full time home maker. 2. Get a baby sitter (Still sitting on this option as my online research hasn't been very fruitful) 3. Hire a maid (minimum contract of 2 years for keeping a maid). Honestly i'm not too comfortable having a stranger in our midst, leave alone to entrust our newborn to that person. This option can be made sweeter if one of our family members are with the maid as well full time. So say for example, one of the mother's stay in to monitor the maid and baby. 4. Take baby to work. Nah, although #flexible work arrangements are a hit now, this is not very common in Malaysia as yet. There's still a wide area for growth in welcoming returning mothers to the workforce 5. Send to a child-care (Not too sure about this, major concern being leaving baby in the hands of strangers) 6. Send to our parent homes. Not too keen with this option either, both parents are in their time of rest. And we do not wish to impose our child upon. Given the current situation and times, there is a need to continue dual income earning in a family. Zooming into each option, I explored #1 extensively and in my research i came across this link: http://www.ehomemakers.net/en/index.php which is a portal for e-home makers in Malaysia. Plenty of how-to articles, a business directory with selected businesses listed. My favourite link is on the right side bar which lists out business of the month and other advertising solutions. There are just too many business opportunities out there to be explored! The commonly done jobs at home are as follows: 1. Sewing 2. Virtual Office Assistance: Consisting tele-marketing, customer support, administrative work 3. Website design 4. e-Commerce 5. Writers, editors, transcribers 6. Baking 7. Home tutor/ tuition The non-conventional jobs include the following: 1. Consultancy - providing e-advice areas of expertise. Mainly for support functions such as Human Resources, Legal, IT 2. Making specialised artsy gifts such as beading and creative arts (for kids mainly) Whichever path is chosen, the most important consideration has to be a genuine interest in the work undertaken. Working alone from home takes a lot more toll on a person that working for someone. It's definitely not an easy task but it's totally do-able. You can prepare yourself to work from home by reading up (books and people who have done it) and by networking. Meet people who are currently in the same industry of home makers and find out how they do it. If you see yourself doing it in the long run, it helps to prepare yourself, skill-wise and resource-wise to embark on this journey.

Antenatal Depression

I found myself googling on the effects of depression during pregnancy, any harm to the baby. Obviously there are the more severe conditions faced by most women out there. To my surprise, quite a significant number of women (about 300 odd women) wrote about how they lack their spousal support, leading them on to depression and in some cases, they are forced to take medications to help themselves. Err.. okay, I don't take any medication and I do not intend to (it's mentioned that it'll do more good than harm). A child born under depression could be prematured, resulting in underdeveloped systems and worst still, experience stress later on in their own lives. I could relate to the breaking down and crying, feeling helpless and feel like i'm being a burden for asking favours. Even the smallest gestures send me to tears these days. The main stem of my own depression is caused by an unmet desire... :( I need to get over that first before I move on. I tear very easily at almost anything and everything that hurts me these days and a lot gets to me. The other day I was scolded by a lorry driver who got off his lorry and came bashing and knocking at my door. I had a super long day that day. Had to run to a few places and this happened while i was on my wat to fetch hubs from our apartment. Following that, still got some cold shoulder treatment from hubs. Still don't understand how to read him i think. I found out the following day the reason for the treatment. IT's nearing the weekend to our supposed baby moon holiday. He sent me the fares he is entitled to. It was super cheap, I wanted to travel to everywhere. I was soooo excited!! I zoomed in to phuket instead. The date should be the 14th - 16th Dec. I booked my remaining leave for the 16th and half day on the 17th. I was searching for hotels, massive research on prenatal massage, spots which would be most convenient for me to move around etc. I have been to Phuket with my girlfriends before, to the Kuta area so I thought it'd be nice to try a different area this time. So the day is the 10th of Dec. I asked hubs if we are still going and what's the plan since my salary was still not in yet by then, I didn't have any spare cash to use. I thought he'd have a plan since he also agreed with me to go. It's just a matter of a few days for me before salary comes in. He vented his frustration saying that he had to sacrifice paying our mortgage just to plan this vacation. I was taken aback. I became totally confused. I wasn't sure what to feel. We got back to step ONE. We have been planning to go somewhere since January 2013, planning ahead for our honeymoon after the 19th of June. So I suggested a short trip on the 19th to return just in time for our wedding dinner on saturday but that didn't happen. Hubs had his explanations. And then I suggested a cruise, the week after the wedding. And he had his court case hearing then plus meetings. So i ended up going back to work while he went on to attend to his matters. So a lot of leave days were used for his leave and court cases. Nothing was planned for our trip together. Then there was the no money season and no leave season and then i got preggers and I knew this day would arrive when I'd want to go somewhere. So I planned a trip to Paris. Supposed to happen in November and then I realised, shit, tight for cash again. And then there was the no time early November that cropped up. To hide my embarrasment (as my close frens knew about the plan), i said that doctor didn't allow me to travel so long and far. I used the short Penang and SG flight experience I had as an excuse as well. So I suggested a shorter trip instead so we can cut down on the cost. So dilly dally and I came to a point when it was December and hubs tells me that he has no more leave days left. I cried my heart out loud. I couldn't contain my sadness. As I still can't do it now. I've attempted to plan with him, without him, my hours of researching for a holiday is all futile. I've come to a bump. I felt like I was burdening him with the idea to take off just because I cannot travel anymore after this till another 6 months - 1 year at least. Its difficult turning from being an active adventurous person to a domestic cat, trying to attend to someone's needs daily and then go to sleep, then work and the same routine continues. We have clearly fallen into a routine, something i've always preached about avoiding. I watched it unfold simply because hubs is busy with his agenda. Although he claims that this' a temporary state, it's left a deep scar within me... I cry daily thinking about it, and I can't hide it from my eyes, which has lost its sparkle. It rained heavily driving back yesterday and this' after finding out that the only weekend he is free on for us to go anywhere to holiday is not going to happen. Mental note to self - never initiate another holiday in the future..

Another chapter is born: The pregnancy

So, i've been missing for almost 6 months and now i'm preggers for 5! It's been an awesome journey so far, with ups and downs of course. So what has been the best and worst parts so far? There's no longer a need to change diapers a few days in a month because I don't bleed anymore. However, that's now been replaced with frequent toilet visits as I can't seem to control my bladder! LOL! I have not had any real cravings so far except for the constant tom yum dishes I was addicted to in my first 3 months. I did crave for a particular kueh recently, it's a donut-like savoury cake made locally, known as kueh keria/ gulung. Unfortunately neither my mom or hubby managed to find it! and I never ended up getting it. I made it myself instead. It was nice. Finished the whole lot myself and gave some to mom. Besides that, I have been craving to go on a trip so badly and i've not done it yet! This' probably stemming from us not having gone on a honeymoon as yet! Yup! we were supposed to go for a cruise after the wedding and then there was the no time and now no money situation that's cropped up. Then there was the trip to Paris and Frankfurt that was supposed to happen in Nov and it's Nov now but that can't happen as well. Oh yes, I did go on a short trip to Malacca with (ironically) the in-laws, again, without hubby coz he had class which couldn't be replaced. So that was fun, at least something. I was like a lil' girl out on an excursion as I enjoyed every journey of being outside. Reminded me of my now-buried interest of being outdoors, travelling etc. Sigh.. I doubt I can go on one with hubby before I deliver so am planning to take off on my own (a bit sad, yes but hubby seems to have his own priorities which doesn't include me in it). So that's gonna be post-Christmas plans. Gonna settle for something simple, quiet, refreshing and relaxing with easy access so thinking local. I've always been a huge fan of massages and foot rubs, usually at the spas and massage parlours. However, with the pregnancy, I wish I had a masseur on stand by who can just give me a foot rub and back rub every night before I sleep. It's sooo stressful on my feet as I still drive to work and do my daily chores as usual. Unfortunately, ain't getting that either. So i'm left to bonding with the baby on my own as hubby is busy settling some work issues he has to deal with. I can now feel him and am learning his patterns of waking up, hunger and fun activity (kicking me!). Oh yes, speaking of being preggers, I have been getting a lot of "nice" treatments from strangers who think that I should be treated nicely because I'm carrying. Nice thought! However, some others do treat me like i'm deceased. And then there's some who can't give a damn, like when I'm standing in a train, holding on to railings and barely able to balance my stand. I console myself thinking oh.. maybe I don't look so preggers after all. LOL! I should start my prenatal yoga lessons again. It was a tight schedule for the past few weeks so I'll be on my schedule again in no time. I did go for one lesson in PJ on my 3rd month and didn't go back. I must make memories with my pregnancy so there's something fun to think of. Oh yes, bestie Sumi is cmg down in Feb for a visit so that's something to look forward to. And Pat from Singapore is visiting in Dec ;) So I should count my blessings after all. Still crossing my fingers to hope that I'll have better memories to build with hubby instead of just finding his hand to put on my belly to feel baby boy kick and play.

Settling into a new phase in life

So i've moved into a brand new phase of life - all within 6 months. June 2013 came and left like a tornado. I became a wife and a life companion to my 6 years-long love. It helps that both our parent's home is within 15 mins from where we live. Since June we have been in constant contact and visits with home. Mostly on an as an when needed basis. Our brand new #ikeakitchen arrived in July. After much drama, of course. We have been planning our #kitchen for the past 6 months, on top of the wedding plans and home renovation, shifting out of our old house. When we booked the kitchen and paid cash at the checkout counter it was almost 11pm. After checking out, we had to take a queue number at the service counter to arrange for delivery of our kitchen items. Little did we know that we had to make arrangements with the contractors of Ikea to install the cabinets! So, the delivery guys are different that the guys who put the kitchen together! #CTArtDesign are the guys who fix the cabinets and we're supposed to make arrangements with them to book their schedule as they are usually booked back to back. I got on the phone with the customer service person and she told me that the next available date is 1 month away! I almost fainted! I threw a ruckus, told her I won't be in town then (partly true as my Singapore biz trip was due that same time) and I insisted she took another look at the schedule she had. Apparently they had an overwhelming booking due to the recent #IkeaKitchenPromo ending June. After about 2 mins, she came back to the phone and said there's another available slot a week from then. With a sigh of relief I immediately booked that slot and asked hubs to stay home to see through the contractors instead. They did an awesome job! The kitchen cost us a total of MYR4,500. For all our baskets, table top, and cabinets. Since it's just the two of us, I didn't want to go all out and fill the walls as well. I wanted to see some space so left it with the standing cabinets for now. I'll try to find some before and after pics to be posted. #IkeaKitchen rocks!

Goodbye debts,hello financial freedom!

I've recently ticked off one more item on my bucket list: to become a financial planner. Well, i'm not quite there yet but i've started the chapter. Now the journey starts with this first step.

Sat for my CEILI and PCE exam and signed on with Great Eastern (GE). Why GE? Many people ask me this and my only answer is - I always choose to be with the best to be the best. This is one pattern that shows in most of my other choices made in career, life etc. Well, it's not all rosy and perfect but it's WIP (Work In Progress). WIP Bangsar also happens to be another of my fav hangout for Jazz music mainly.
I've partnered up with a team of great people who call themselves as TotalCoverageSolutions (TCS). They offer the entire spectrum of financial planning from motor, life insurances to retirements, stock, public mutual, bonds, etc.

So now, my journey with TCS as a financial planner begins. The first part to it is Life Insurance. For the past 18 years, i've been told to invest in insurance, take on a policy to protect myself as you'll never know when what will happen. I've also always viewed insurance agents as people who just want to sell sell sell and make money out of you. How wrong I was when I came to find out that these people who call themselves agents are supposed to be partners with us, laymen, to educate us about our options in making smart financial decisions in life. I guess this goes back to the experiences we have with our respective agents. As most of them come up to me and present a plan. Efforts of getting to know me is there but for reasons I'm sure relating to sales. Sigh... Now that I'm on the other side of the court, I have come to know some really genuine people who provide advise with no selling involved! I'm convinced that every single living person should invest in a pool of savings called insurance and other portfolios for the benefit of their own lives. You don't necessarily have to buy from me for saying this, take the lesson, find your own agent, google, toggle do whatever it takes. But seriously, DO something. Find out. Speak to someone. Ask about your options. I don't settle easily with a text book answer so I'm always as curious as a cat to find out about my options and it's done me good so far. The reality is, everyone needs an agent of their own, not the other way around. People in general need more genuine advise on their choices when it comes to what to do with their hard earned cash without being treated to a one time policy statement and then MIA. There has to be a continuous relationship between the planner and you. This way, you can be rest assured that your assets are in good hands. It's the same as choosing your own lawyer or doctor to work with. You really won't settle for someone whom you think MAYBE or MAYBE NOT have a chance to help you. You'll do your own due diligence to ensure that they WILL help you. Why must it be any different when it comes to managing your own hard earned cash?

The past 8 years of working in recruitment has met me with people from different myriads of life. But one common thread which runs in all of them is this - desperation from no money, as they live from pay check to pay check. It's even more sad to consult candidates who are around the ages 50 and above who are still keen to work due to depleted saving, no more retirement fund, spent their EPF money to marry of their kids or pay for their education, etc etc.

If there is ONE message I can tell you to summarize the experiences of those people who have walked the earth more years than you and me put together it's this: PLAN! It's not a myth, not just a saying but it's the TRUTH. You have to plan your finances just the way you plan your car service, your journey on a holiday, your wedding, parties etc.

If you are one who is quite happy to cruise about life, just remember that those who have cruised before you have not reached anywhere because they never planned to be somewhere in the first place. I'm not referring to having RM1 million in your bank account. But I'm referring to planning your finances sufficient to enjoy your old age without any dependence or desperation.

Failure to plan is not really planning to fail because I believe no one is a failure in life. We are only results of our own choices. But I do believe that the choices we make will make or break our dreams and goals. If you don't have one yet, start now. Look forward and make things happen. I've been there before, wondering what might be and could have been but now it's all about just doing it and seeing the results in real time. Try it, it's an amazing place to be - Real Time ;)

Why is the turnover rate for sales people extremely high today?

At the mention of the word sales, things like door to door salesman, stress, cold calling, commission, unstable career and even odd hours come to mind. Of late, hiring managers have been complaining that their sales team turnover is extremely high. The problem is real, everyone wants a solution.

As human resource professionals, the answers generally point to the direction of compensation, salary, ringgit and cents at the heart of it all. Bottom line is, still back to compensation but that’s not all it takes anymore. There’s more to the equation in reality. Coming from a sales background myself, coupled with extensive human capital and talent management experience, I have observed a very important factor which could potentially explain why sales people are hard to keep. There are generally 3 main hurdles to be overcome. The following explains.

Naturally those who walk the sales path are money driven, strong character individuals and those who stay in the field are usually those who has the staying power to do so. The role is definitely not for the faint hearted and weak willed. And also not for those who need stability and conventional way of work. The general characteristics of a sales person can be summed by observing their attitude which usually makes all the difference. Sometimes this can draw the line between hiring someone with or without experience as the person can be without experience but with a great attitude, they can still make the cut.

If this can be observed into the hiring process, consider hurdle one is down.

The second hurdle to be encountered is to keeping them, which is where the real challenge is.

In the capacity of a HR person, I’ll first revisit the entire process of on-boarding. An employee experience on the first week is paramount to his/ her future with the company. Ask yourselves these questions to check if you’re doing all you can to create a pleasant experience:

Did you give the new staff a warm welcome; introduce to the entire team, welcome breakfast or lunch, inclusion in all team activities. If there are cliques’ within the existing team, it would be a barrier to a new entrant. Did you break all barriers to entry before integrating a new person into the team?

Most people overlook the importance of team lunch or get together sessions. This may not be a party where people get drunk and bare it all. It’s a slow but natural process. Without expecting anyone to be someone they are not, study your team and understand each one’s personality. This will give you an idea of what type of events you can create to gel them together.

If you notice, all the above questions can be answered by one person - the hiring manager/ team leader. Whoever is going to lead the person makes all the difference. In my 8 years of career in sales, I have wanted to quit 8 times! But I stayed each time, only because of 1 main factor, my leader who was also my mentor and support. This kept me going every time it got tough. My leader would stand up for me, if I needed to take leave to just get away from it all, she was understanding enough to put her head on the line and when I got back, I’ll be in top form to perform again. Ask yourselves if this is the kind of a person you have been or have you been strictly adhering to the company hand book and completely ignoring the human needs of individuals in your team.

This is probably an Asian mentality – to work hard. Some injection of culture is needed in managing a team of people to work smart. Leadership is no longer just a term coined as a buzz word. It is the only way forward to keeping people.

People tend to take leadership lightly. It may not be within you but it’s something that can be trained. Review your own leaders’ capabilities. This form of review should go beyond answering a few true or false questions. It should also include real life observations and honest assessments. If there is an area to be worked on for improvement, then that should be addressed.

Once this hurdle has been crossed, if you’ve managed to keep your staff happy emotionally, physically and mentally, the turnover rates can be changed. Of course, the underlying assumption here is that the compensation you’ve offering is competitive enough and commensurate with the incumbents experiences and skills.

The final hurdle in keeping them would be in the reviews and appraisals. In my previous company, all other teams had performance reviews twice a year. My team had ours every month! It seemed like a waste of time at first that I have to sit and discuss figures with my manager every fortnightly but it did help in the long run. We could detect lack of motivation, discuss about issues that were not visible. We genuinely showed concern and meant it. We knew what each one aspired for and we helped them walk to their goal, we reminded them if they slipped and brought them back on track.

If they felt that they lacked in certain areas of skill, we would action a fun training session. These were not provided for by the company but our team did it. And as a result, we were the last team standing with zero turnover rate when the rest of the teams were like revolving doors. We’d go for team outing once a month, be it a hike, picnic, treasure hunts, karaoke, road trips. We did all we could to gel the team together and we became almost like a family that no one wanted to leave.

This also resulted in higher revenue as everyone helped to motivate each other to perform. A classic example as they are but it works. As a conclusion, from what I have experienced and comparing it to what I observe now, the significant lack of leadership in organizations today could be the root cause of the evil of high turnover. Nip that in the bud and see your team grow into a rose garden.

How my life started when I learnt to say NO

How my life started when I learnt to say NO

Kara** turns 34 this year, the year is 2012. She has a hectic life but when she sit down at the end of a day and recount my activities on a day, she finds nothing worth recalling. It’s filled with office work, work for others, running errands for others, helping others, and more of others but less of her in the equation. This was a startling revelation when she decided to analyze where her hours were going into. Then she realized that a bulk of the activities she does in a day is a complete waste of time. She doesn’t have time for herself except sleep time and that’s after she's exhausted all her energy running errands for other people. The neighbors dog to be fed, the kids to be fed when they can be trained to eat themselves, the additional printing to be done at work when the person himself can print and pick it up themselves. All the small things add up to the bigger picture, resulting in her loaded with a whole load of other people’s work.

A self analysis led her to realize that she is too obliging as a person and can never say never or no. In fact, in the past 6 months, she can count the number of times she has said no and countless times when she has obliged to help someone.

Helping someone in need is not the problem here. Being a doormat is. People in general needs to carry their own weight. While most of us are aware of this basic requirement in life, not many of us are willing to do that. As outsourcing is a buzz word these days, most menial duties are given away for others to do. And this is where people like Kara fit in the lives of the many that choose to outsource, in the name of friendship and relationship.

Unfortunately, the good people of this earth do not come into life with a manual on how to survive. Now here’s one for a start.

Firstly, learn to reward yourself and start saying no. That’s right. Say NO to the extra job at office that someone else can afford to do. Say NO to feeding the dogs when you have already made an appointment to see your massage therapist. Prioritize yourself over anything else unless the other matter at hand is about life or death.

Make plans to pamper yourself, make time for yourself everyday. Be it an hour or two. Even more time on weekends. It is extremely important to spend time with ourselves (sleeping doesn’t count) doing activities which matter most to us. This can be as simple as pursuing a hobby or an interest. Once you start to say NO to the unimportant things which come your way, you will see a lot more of yourself, become a better person and you’ll be able to help others better as well.

Start today and say NO!

Recruitment, retainment, engagement?

We hear the buzz word everywhere: recruitment, retainment and engagement. What do those terms mean to us? As with everything else, we attach our own significant values to the things around us. What do those terms mean to you, personally?

What is your favorite time in a days work?

Most people crave for a certain “time-out” in a days work. Some cherish their puffing session where a few smokers gather to form a chimney at the staircase or lobby area. Entry into this group is the easiest but the most dangerous to health. Ever seen how strangers can just ask for a lighter to puff and they start a conversation? Smoke signals still work, proven over time.

Some others love lunch time where they gather a few gossip gals to do a post mortem on their weekend/ last night event. This is usually the same group of people who has been following through the stories. Entry into this group is usually almost impossible, even if done, it will involve some awkwardness and eventually the newbie will drop off, not being able to keep up.

Another group would prefer the pantry entry. They usually group together at certain times in a day, if the water cooler is not in the pantry; the crowd might be seen crowding the cooler area. In the pretext of waiting to fill up their 5 litre water bottle, 4-5 people wait and chit chat. Funnily, these are usually the same faces, all the time. That’s a quick gulp down!

Some others prefer the after hours team. This is the after-hours socializing group which hops from one bar to another until they find their preferred spot. These drinking nomads are usually a fun bunch to hang out with. The decibel of the group will increase as the hours pass. Highly recommended for newbie in a new team. For those who are against alcoholic drinks, mock tails can be enjoyed as a substitute.

Finally, the one activity which gives the most bliss among all mentioned above is peeing. Toilet time is known to be inspirational for some. My previous manager claimed that her most creative time was time spent in the small cubicle of 4 walls. Suggestions to turn the cubicle into an office were subsequently turned down due to lack of resources.

So, there you go. A list of possible “break-time” options for you to choose from. Ultimately, there has to be a break-free session for you to peel yourself out of your desk for at least 5-10 minutes in each hour. If working time = $$ and break time = opportunity to be more productive, then working time should be balanced with the latter. Besides, all work and no play make a dull and plain Jane.

When to say goodbye to your recruiter

So i called ann** not her real name at 830am, hoping to get her attention first thing in the morning. Sorry, she's not at her desk yet was the receptionist reply. I think i heard a yawn there. Never mind, i'll call back i say and hang up. I continue browsing through jobstreet, jobsDB & monster simultaneously. I've mastered the art of multi tasking whilst being jobless. So this answers the question: how have you spent your days. Self-enhancing-creative education!

Job hunting is a full time job. Whoever said that a jobless person has nothing to do. Okay, now that i'm done entertaining my random passing thoughts, i'm going to ring up my recruiter again. Hopefully she's returned to her desk from the coffee machine chatter at the pantry. Yes! This time, Ann answers the phone and when i give her my name, there's an awkward silence on the other end. Erm, we spoke two days ago? For the developer position you have in Venus? No, not the one in Jupiter, its venus, where you come from. (i mumbled that below my breath, of course!)

Oh yes, now I remember. Sorry but i don't have any positions for you at the moment says my recruiter.

Erm but i just saw positions A, B, D & E reposted yesterday by you. I fully qualify for these roles. Why don't you profile me over? 

Oh.. Sheepishly laughs and says- well, those positions A& B are already closed & the other 2 is still open. BUT client is looking for the X-race, you know, for cultural fit purposes and to fulfil departmental quota. Sigh.. I thought quotas were abolished since Apartheid era? I say this to her to which she immediately answered, i'll call u if i find anything suitable. Kill me now, i say. I've heard these lines at least 100 times & this conversation repeated at least 50 times since i started job hunting. I was proactive enough to call and askif there's something wrong with my application, how can i improve, any new positions etc etc. But the only treatment i get from my recruiters is the silence kind. Cold and distant. I decided to fire my recruiter. And 3 months after pin drop silence from her, she calls me with her friendliest tone. Hey, how have you been? Long time huh? Listen, are you still looking for a job now? 

Oops, guess what? I just got employed by your competitor recruitment agency. I believe the role is in your bucket as well. You should go check it & close the position. And by the way, I now represent Jupiter Entreprises and we are dropping your agency services. Thank you for your services & have a nice day!

Toot toot toot..